Well Valentine's Day has come and gone, and no doubt some of you had a suitably loved-up time of it. The rest of us were left to mutter darkly about how it's all a scam cooked up by the greeting card companies, before going home to sob wordlessly as we confront the fact that we'll be alone for ever. In honour of those people not in love this Valentine's, i've compiled a list of songs to help you wallow in your misery:
Hank Williams - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry
Pete Doherty could learn a thing or two from Hank Williams. A superstar by the age of 25 and dead by 29, he still managed to turn out a body of work which endures to this day. In a catalogue not exactly light on depressing songs ("Why Should We Try Anymore?", "My Son Calls Another Man Daddy", "I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive". The list goes on) this is his exquisitely melancholic masterpiece.
The Beatles - For No One
Paul Mc Cartney certainly had prior experience of failed relationships even before his ill-fated marriage to money-grubbing fantasist Heather Mills. On this underated little gem from Revolver, Macca mournfully surveys the end of his engagement to actress (and future celebrity cake maker) Jane Asher. Over a slightly baroque backing of clavichord, piano and bass McCartney cheerfully explains "You stay home, she goes out"/She says that long ago she knew someone but now he's gone/She doesn't need him." Ouch...
Chi-Lites - Oh Girl
Such is the power of this Philly soul classic, that it can even make Tony Soprano cry. Yep, everyone's favourite pyschologically conflicted Mob boss breaks down while listening to this on his car radio in the classic season four episode "Watching Too Much Television." Of course he then goes on to beat seven shades of shit out of Assemblyman Zellman for messing with his goomah. But not before proving that even Mafia hardmen are helpless before that plangent harmonica intro and Eugene Record's soaring vocal.
Gilbert O' Sullivan - Alone Again (Naturally)
Perhaps the ultimate feeling sorry for yourself classic comes from the unlikely figure of Waterford-born, flat cap wearing, MOR titan Gilbert O'Sullivan. Not only is the song's narrator left at the altar by his would be bride, by the end of the song both his parents have died. Probably one of the few smash hits of the seventies (or ever) that begins with the singer vowing to throw himself off the nearest tall building.
Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers - Girlfriend
Wreckless Eric - Whole Wide World
Two sides of the same lovelorn coin here. In Girlfriend, legendary proto-punk Richman imagines what'd it be like if he actually had a girlfriend to go places with. But he doesn't. Have a girlfriend, that is. While in timeless sad-sack anthem Whole Wide World, cult hero Eric Goulden's Mum tells him "There's only one girl in the world for you/And she probably lives in Tahiti." Parents, eh? Undaunted, Eric resolves to "go the whole wide world/Just to find her." It'll only end in tears y'know...
The Smiths - Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
I could have chosen any number of classic Smiths mope-a-thons, but i've plumped for this relatively overlooked b-side. Short but not exactly sweet, the song finds arch-miserabilist Morrissey bemoaning the fact that he never gets what he wants and the situation doesn't look like changing soon. Well it won't with that defeatist attitude. Recieves bonus points for featuring a doleful mandolin solo.
Palace - You Will Miss Me When I Burn
None more bleak offering from the man who currently trades under the name Bonnie "Prince" Billy but whose mates knows him as simply Will Oldham. Backed by a haphazardly strummed acoustic guitar, Will croakily advises "When you have no one/No one can hurt you"
before going on to wonder if anyone will miss him when he "burns" Side note: If anyone has actually seen what Will Oldham looks like, he clearly has no trouble with the ladies.
Spiritualized - Broken Heart
From the "Blood On The Tracks" of the nineties, "Ladies And Gentlemen, We Are Floating In Space", which reportedly documents the disintegration of frontman Jason Pierce's releationship with former band member Kate Radley and his subsequent descent into alcohol and drug abuse. Accompanied by what sounds like a couple of symphony orchestras, Pierce explains in quavering voice that he's "wasted all the time" while the backing players pour on the melodrama. Kate Radley later went on to marry Richard Ashcroft. The hussy.
Afraid i couldn't get youtube links to all the songs, but i'm sure you kids know how to use file-sharing programs. Have a miserable time.
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4 comments:
Brilliant. Seriously dude, I would buy magazines for that kind of writing... well if i bought magazines i would!
St Valentine was probably gay, writing notes to hs "followers" from his prison cell, most likely Reading Gaol or some such penitentiary.
Wordless sobbing however, isn't quite as much fun as incoherent babbling, hand wringing and rocking back and forth in the cupboard under the stairs!
Well done C
Thank you kind sir. I just realised what a uniquely male kind of misery i ended up writing about. Originally i had a few female singers in there but i couldn't think of anything snarky to say about them, they were just beautiful songs. I guess its just funnier when it's a guy pouring his heart out...
Nicely done. A setlist for the sadness. And with the added ridiculousness of the male's bilious heart, we may laugh even while we cry. It IS funnier.
Loui commented yesterday on the topic, the "lone" musician, picking out a song about forgotten dreams and broken hearts while his wife/girlfirend sat sighing in the corner looking for attention/the gardening done! She imagined the lovers of these scorned individuals, muttering "cunt" under their breath every time the song was played. A whole "how could I be there for him, he spent all of 92 locked in a recording studio writing about how I'm never there for him"!!!
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