Monday, July 27, 2009

Yours etc.

29A The G----
S------
E15 4--
29.05.0-
Dear N----,

I'm listening to Arcade Fire, 'Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)' and it reminds me of D-- A------, that place you used to live with P----- & S---- and that night - some party - when everyone had finally slunk off to bed and it was just you & I and whatsherface? C----'s girlfriend? Who wouldn't end? Keeping me embroiled in some mindless afterhours talk? You didn't care for it (or her), I wanted you, you to the door - you stood there a moment, your eyes - and to bed and me left to endless ramble interspersed with dumb reflective laughter, me humouring her, tirelessly.

I felt that was my chance. I felt that was my chance and that ever after has been the letting go.

Even other instances of potential: I probably approached them with a doubtful mind - the seed had been planted. For that - not some - reason I failed you. And I'm so like a kid around you, wanting you to let your guard down and nurse me - and you know what that means: save me.

Yours etc.