Nicknames

We made it back from the restaurant about 7pm. The mess in the kitchen a reminder of why we went out to eat. Not overwhelming, but inconvenient. It had been a lazy day overall, late night gaming and general end of week tiredness balancing out the excuse scales, I couldnt really justify it otherwise. Lou sat down to rest up alittle, let the food settle and i determinedly began to pick things up and move them to other places, my most inefficient mode of cleaning, relied upon mostly when im engaged in reluctant tidying.

It lasted mere minutes. I picked up a paper i hadnt read yet, local rag, thinly padded. I was about to toss it when i figured i could probably do with a bathroom break, paper in tow. I looked over the front page, the so called highlights of the local calendar. This would be a quick break, an idle flick through gawking at pictures to see if i recognized anyone.

A small article a few pages in, a mention really, caught my eye. It mentioned the name of a local man (aged 26) who had suddenly passed away. My mother had told me of it the previous week and asked if i knew the boy, i had wracked my brain, but the name drew no sense of recollection. It was a short piece so i scanned it over, in loving memory, family tragedy, left behind by his wife. worked at..... I stopped. I had worked there. Known to his friends as..... oh sweet jesus. I know him, knew him. God.

I remember walking in there that summer, unable to find work anywhere and the boss said there wasa guy off on sick leave so i could fill in. I saw him then, heard his real name for the first time, and remembered fondly a school trip my friends had bailed out on. Guys i used as crutches wouldnt/couldnt go. I forced myself to and felt isolated. Then Cairan, leather clad and magnificent in his confidence had asked me to join a card game he an the other leaving vert lads wre playing. It was unheard of. I was 15. He welcomed me and introduced me round, the bus trip was spent sittin with them all. His idea again, and it made me feel important. how i admired him. his self assured decency.

Im sorry i didnt recognize your name man, just that pseudonym of yours, so externally imposed, so all encapsulating. "Fonz" Im gonna miss you. I cant believe your gone.